giveaways

Do not fret if you missed out on the various PC gaming sales over the holiday season.  TPG is giving you the opportunity to snatch up great titles like Skyrim, Dishonored, Global Offensive and more.  To enter the contest, use the commenting section below to post a story about your dream PC gaming dinner party.  You can select five characters (main, supporting, NPC, et al) from any PC game.  Please refrain from just posting names with no indication of why you chose those particular characters.  You are encouraged to expand on this party.   What meals would you serve?  What type of outside entertainment could be offered?  Would things get out of hand with Max Payne, JC Denton, Geralt, Gordon Freeman, Shodan, Jade, Prince LaCroix or Bastila in the same room?

The Prizes:

The Rules:

  • No Profanity
  • One entry, per person, per e-mail address, per IP
  • 72 Hours Only
  • Post your first name and last initial
  • Post a story about how you would conduct a dinner party with five PC gaming characters

This contest is now over. The winners are Russel, Jack and Marc.  If you have not received an e-mail from us, please check your Spam folders.  Thanks to everyone who shared their stories. 

UPDATE:

If you found us via Bethesda, there was a miscommunication on the ending date.  We are sorry for getting your hopes up.  We will be holding a new contest next week.

 

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  • Marc C

    Tommy Vercetti; Would bring the party favours, if you know what I mean.

    Duke Nukem; He would have the twins under his arm for the evening entertainments. He also is damn intimidating.

    Adam Jensen; Security, and looking badass with his augments.

    Max Payne; Would be the bar tender also doubling as security with Adam Jensen.

    Niko Belic; Because someone needs to be able to drink Max Payne under the table.

    An all you can eat buffet, because catering for five different people in a pain! So stuff ‘em they can have what ever they wish from a wide array of foods from all over the globe.

    Fully stocked bar, to cater for the likes of Max Payne since he loves his scotch to go with his guns.

    During the night at some point Duke & Max would get into a heated discussion for the better of words and end up drawing guns and holding them at each other until Adam Jensen interferes and knocks them both out cold with his impressive strength from his augments.

    Since Duke brought the twins for entertainment they would be putting on a scantily clad dance number for the lads, whilst Tommy’s favourite tracks from V Rock are playing in the background.

    Afterwards everyone gets to use Niko’s cousins car service for free, to get home safely so they don’t drink & drive, because that’s what responsible adults do!

    • Adam Ames

      Excellent entry. I can just imagine everyone hanging out telling stories of their recent victories.

  • Przemyslaw K

    So little time to write lately, but I really want to share my list of guests.

    The problem is that my guests are extremely bizarre I think and I have really no idea how it would be to gather’em together.
    However I would like to meet them each after another..

    The 39th Slayer from Journey to Rooted Hold. To be honest, I admire his sense of humor and all of that, but the main reason is, I would like to see his infamous Wisp. I need it to find some long lost and forgotten stuff. Also there is one debtor that have disappeared some time ago. It would be quite nice to find him then and… here is time for my second guest.

    Shuggy from Adventures of Shuggy. Of course, I’d talk with him about this and that. Let’s be honest, there is not many persons that you could talk with about clockwork chicken. And then after a little chit chat, after showing him his own person Lego minifigure, that my son has lately constructed, I could ask him to help me get back my money from miraculously found debtor. I believe, even if Shuggy himself is kind-hearted, that his vampiric appearance could be quite persuading. And then, with some money in my pocket I could meet my third guest.

    Yellow from Magicka. Actually I have no business with him, but I’d love to taste sausages delivered by him. You might ask, why Yellow, and not Red or Purple? Quite simple, he is definitely the nicest one of the whole bunch. Anyway, after entertaining meal, it would be a time to finally spend some money. And here comes fourth guest.

    Max from Max and the Magic Marker. I am sure he and my son would become friend and have some really neat ideas to use a Magic Marker together. And (even if it might look a little bit selfish at the beginning) I’d pay him to have a chance to use Magic Marker by myself. You know, kids aren’t so willing to share their toys with adults. I’d use Marker to draw a spaceship. And it is not for me, as you probably have already guessed. It’s for my last dinner guest.

    Space Personality Core from Portal 2. I’d like to meet someone from this game. It must be robotic, and it would better be someone who cannot kill me. So GLaDOS and Wheatley are nono. From all cores (that are harmless in general) this one is the funniest one, and I’ve got a hidden agenda concerning it. My son always wanted to make this core happy, and then I’d like to make its dreams come true and send it into space.

    • Adam Ames

      “and it would better be someone who cannot kill me.”

      That is a great point. I had not thought about any of the guests deciding to take out the host. :)

      • Przemyslaw K

        In GLaDOS case it’s nothing personal I guess. It’s just pure science ;-)

  • mooken

    Ellis from Left 4 Dead, to tell us awesome anecdotes about how one time, his buddy Keith …

    Conker from Conker’s Bad Fur Day to be amusing, drunk, & crass.

    Claptrap from Borderlands/Borderlands 2 to be that obnoxious guy and hopefully get into a fight with Conker.

    Cooking Mama to provide catering, girl can cook up a storm.

    Dustman from Dust Force, because well, he’d be awesome to have around to help clean up afterwards.

    edit: Dang it, PC only, so Cooking Mama and Conker are out. hmm looking through my games list .. Gabe and Tycho from Penny Arcade would be cool, as would be Cthulhu from Cthulhu Save the World, because, well, destruction of the universe and all. Frank West might be useful to have around, because he’s covered wars, you know.
    OH WAIT I KNOW TINY TINA from Borderlands 2. She’s batstick insane and I love her for it.
    And ok, yes, I’ll take powerless Cthulhu because he’s pretty entertaining when he’s not bent on destruction.

    • Adam Ames

      Yeah. We are a PC-only site, after all. :) Thanks for the entry!

  • http://twitter.com/leechaccount Dan Zieg

    aaaaaah i see =) the podcast question. nice. :D

    so who’s gonna participate in my PC gaming dinner. since it’s a pc gaming dinner it has to be the most violent and hilarious meeting known to mankind.

    so my first two guests would be:

    - WARP and WOOLFY from toonstruck:
    some of the shenanigans these two pull of can be witnessed here: http://www.youtube.com/v/wZVU8eYYJWE&hl=en_US&fs=1&
    it would be a total mess at the table – i doub’t anything on that table would be edible anymore – hell i doubt anyone leaves that dinner alive.

    - Guybrush Threepwood:
    no introduction needed – perfect match for our first two participents. i’am sure guybrush is perfectly capable of putting warp and wollfy’s merchandise too good use. whilst ultimate madness ensues on the table we still have no serious conversation goning…

    - HK-47
    again no introduction needed. lets get some morals on the table. twisted ones that is. he cannot eat anything? WHO CARES? immortal meatbags sitting right there in front of him. i want some mayhem going on there.

    well we still have no one to provide food. whos better suited for that task then a lord of the underworld – literally – with abundant funds, unimaginabley swarms of chicken, an army of servants and fancy party dancers?

    - HORNY the horned reaper

    i’ll think we host the party right in one of his dungeons. excellent environment. no one needs to starve when hes the dinner host and there would be some awesome conversations about human treatment with HK.

    again – possibly on one will leave that dinner fornication alive but it would be one hell of a party. torture chambers for our morbid guests to enjoy and i certainly think guybrush would enjoy some of hornys maidens as dancers.
    good friendly violent fun right there. i’d definitely enjoy my last supper with that kind of company.

    Daniel Z.

    EDIT: sorry seems like my first post logged twitter off :( even forgot to add name on that one. hope it’s still in. =)

    • Adam Ames

      I deleted the other post. No worries.

      HK-47 would be a great guest indeed. Disqus did not log your e-mail address so I will need you to write me one so I can send over the code for Marvin’s Mittens.

  • Russell S

    5 party members, and only 5 ? Well, to make it one lively party then they’re going to have to be lively characters, unless you want a quiet, contemplative and fairly formal gathering. And nah, that’s way too dull…

    So Sheogorath would definitely make sure there’s always something to talk about. Of course whether any of it makes any sense is a different matter, but that’s not really my problem. I can’t be held responsible if one of my guests happens to be barking mad. Sheogorath is also in charge of bringing the cheese. He has good taste in cheese.

    GladOS is welcome at any of my parties. She might also be partially on the unstable side, and perhaps a bit homicidal but she’s great at organising party games. Hopefully she won’t try to kill any of the other guests. GladOS is in charge of bringing the cake.

    Catalina from GTA:SA may be a tempestuous and firey latino vixen, but let’s be honest, she’s pretty hot in a kind of psychopathic way. Weird as it might sound, she might even be able to keep Sheogorath distracted enough to stop talking nonsense every now and again. Might… Catalina is in charge of whatever she wants to be in charge of, because I’m sure not going to tell her what to do.

    Fem Shep (from Mass Effect) and I go back a long way. We’ve been through a lot together and have a close bond, so how could I not invite her ? Whatever conspiracy theories the others throw together are nothing compared to what she’s been through. My Fem Shep deserves a nice relaxing evening with close friends to forget about annihilation of the universe as we know it, even if it’s this lot. She’s in charge of security.

    If I only have room to invite one more person then I’m going to have to send another letter to San Andreas and invite along The Truth. Hopefully this time he’ll remember to bring back the jetpac he borrowed from me. The Truth is a great storyteller who can hold an audience totally captivated with his outlandish fairytales. I’m pretty sure he believes they’re all true, but what can you do ? I think it’s pretty obvious what The Truth is in charge of…

    Shame it’s only 5 people to invite, but one thing is for sure – it will be a very interesting party.

  • czerwony

    You know what the secret to a good dinner-party is? Conversation. Well, that or arguments, anyway. Therefore, I’d like invite pretty much polar opposites, just so things would never get boring.

    Duke Nukem and RenegadeFemShep.

    Duke is pretty much Mr Misogyny and rarely tries to get a point through talking across when, say, there are weapons within a couple of miles. RFS can talk things through, but generally just hits things. So, to get the conversation started between these two, I’d casually ask who saved the world the most. I see it going pretty much this way, Duke says he’s saved Earth more times, while RFS basically abandoned it to swan around the galaxy in a spaceship. RFS says she saved the GALAXY, while Duke has his sights set way too low. Duke sighs, finishes his beer and says, that may be so, but RFS is a girl, and is probably more suited to ‘entertaining the troops’ while the men do all the important work. RFS offers the opinion that Duke is a loudmouth blowhard, and perhaps would like to step outside to put his dukes up. Duke drains a can of beer in one swallow, and opines that he only has one of the things he would like to ‘put up’ to RFS.

    The resulting [RIGHT HOOK] pretty much destroys a wall, Duke’s patience, cigar and nose. The subsequent biotic charge removes the rest of his willingness to play nice and hairstyle. He forthrightly states that biotics aren’t playing fair, and that they should settle this “man to man” outside. RFS concurs and the resultant (continuing) fight has destroyed more of the Earth than the Reapers ever did. The UN has now called an emergency session, but is believed to have written most of North America off.

    SkyrimDude and Guy out of Divinity 2: DKS

    Mourning the loss of my first two guests (and collateral damage), I decide to take it a bit more easy with the next two guests. The strategy utterly fails when it comes to the “employment” section of small talk, with SD – pretty much the worse for wear with sweetened mead at this point – revealing he is, in fact, “the most amazingly kickass dragonslaying machine you have ever met”. GooD2, quite sober, reveals that he is a ‘Dragon Knight’, and indeed the last of the line. SD perks his ears up at this, and says “oh, a Dragon Knight, eh?, so you’re what, a Knight that kills Dragons? I can see us getting on quite well” and raises his flagon for a toast.

    GooD2 reveals that, in fact, a Dragon Knight is a champion of a literal dragon, and indeed, can transform into such when needed. He goes on to enquire that possibly the reason for the extinction of his line might be possibly an over-zealous DragonSlayer, and that, on balance, it would seem to be you.

    The inebriated SD misses most of this and has only picked up on the “over-zealous Dragon Slayer” line, and mistakenly thinks that “over-zealous” is a compliment. He then boasts that yes, that was him, and he’d do it all over again, and what’s more, he enjoyed it.

    GooD2 considers this for a moment, and feels that taking some time out from being the master of entire island might be just the holiday he wanted. The expression of SD is as GooD2 transforms into a Dragon, right there at the dinner table, is one of my most treasured memories. Sadly, nothing else in the room will ever be treasured again as what is not destroyed by the transformation into Dragon, is set on fire.

    SD is also set on fire, but seems remarkably resistant, and takes to battling the enraged lizard. He puts up a good fight, but is swiftly consumed and eaten along with the bread rolls I thoughtfully put out. Suitably avenged, GooD2, happily flaps off to his Dragon Island and makes a comfortable nest in some gold.

    The Boss (SR3)

    So, four guests down, and not ever past the entrées yet, I pull out my trump card. The Boss from Saint’s Row 3 (w/ Female Voice 1). A perfect choice, because she not only has a huge penthouse to replace my charred dining room, she also has tons of money, plenty of friends to party with and the best thing? A really nice view of the devastation the Duke and RFS are causing around the world.

    And while I’m watching that, I idly make plans for the next dinner party. How about Michael Thorton (Alpha Protocol), GlaDOS (Portal), Shodan (System Shock 2), Racette (Racettear) and Guybrush Threepwood (Monkey Island). A bit pedestrian, maybe, but I only have so many dining rooms I can afford in one year.

    • czerwony

      Hey, why don’t forget to leave my initials :) Jack, J

  • Tom K

    I feel so predictable because only 2 of my choices have yet to be mentioned, damn my capped internet for making me late to the party ha.

    Really great entries so far by the way, keep ‘em coming!

  • JagRoss

    I think one of the most important parts of a dinner party is the conversation, as such I have chosen people who can I think are very intresting.

    Smiling Jack: I’m sure he has a story or two to tell, considering he’s been “alive” since 1611 spending his “life” as a pirate during his mortal years and as a brujah anarch in his other life. (I’ve made sure to stock up on some PHD grade blood).

    Garrus Vakarian: Crack shot, Commander Shepard’s right hand man (depending on how you play), leader of the Omega vigilantes and all round badass, I’m sure he’s going to have a lot to say.

    GLADOS: While there is a small risk that she might try to kill everyone in the room, I’ve done my best to mitigate that by checking her for neurotoxins and banning turrets from the party. I even managed to get her to agree to sing!! That alone made it a no brainer, to say nothing about her wit.

    Geralt of Rivea: A witcher; someone who has spent most of his life fighting monsters (human and supernatural), he has also witnessed several incredible events during his lifetime and is another badass.

    The Narrator from Bastion: He’s got an awesome voice, and can probably sing awesomely, what more do you want?

    I like to imagine that party goes well, with a lot of friendly laughter and chatter late into the night, maybe the Narrator and GLADOS will sing a duet, maybe Garrus and Jack well get into an argument over who’s seen more and maybe Geralt will join in, or maybe he’ll just watch and laugh with the Narrator and GLADOS.

    • JagRoss

      Damn, I forgot my name…….

  • Henry Rojas

    On one particular day in January the annually PC hardware can generate the enough GPU power to bring great characters as Gordon Freeman, Lara Croft, Minecraft character, Meatboy and Soap. To be fair I would try a survey to know the food to serve. But Freeman, Meatboy, Soap and Minecraft character can’t talk. At last after some pictogram game. As you can expect was won by Freeman. Pasta, salad and angus were served without complain thx to most of them didn’t say a word about it. The night ended with an amszing and boring game of Risk that Lara won thanks to her various skill to distract us

  • Robert Boley

    Let me set the scene: (saying this in a morgan freeman accent makes it better m/

    It was a cold, dark night that faithful February. Us 6 we’re dining at the dinner table, eating and drinking and telling stories of our own games, besides myself. The table had one person on each end and two on the sides. First at one end of the table was myself, the handsome host of the night who was drowning in all the marvelous tales around me. Next to my right was Dante(Devil May Cry), dropping more f-bombs than there were in the whole British air force and telling us his many adventures of sex and demon slaying, because what else in life could be better? To his right was Desmond(Assassin’s Creed), being overwhelmed by the amount of sex stories and awesome fights, he just sat there with a dinner knife in his sleeve trying to act cool, but everyone that night knew he was just a lame, virgin who still had his ring finger. At the other end of the table was Solid Snake (Metal Gear Solid) fighting with Commander Shepard (Mass Effect) about who was more badass and multiple arm wrestling matches. To this day I still do not know who won most of the games, most just assumed it was even. Finally, last but not least, was the infamous Vaas (Far Cry 3) to my left, who just kept telling Desmond and Dante about the definition of insanity.

    Later that evening things heated up. Desmond couldn’t take another sex story of Dante’s or Vaas’s ranting so he threw up. Dante called him a baby and not a real assassin which Vaas later concluded that he should cut off his ring finger. Dante then began arguing that he should do that. Shepard and Snake stoped arm wrestling to see what the commotion was about and while Shepard was being all Paragon, he attempted to take away Vaas’s machete and accidentally elbowed Snake in the face. Snake then tried to throw a swing at him and hit Dante in the face. Dante then got all demon pissed and began fist fighting Snake while Desmond was running around the table while Vaas was chasing him and while Shepard was chasing Vaas, you know like those shows where they have the little music playing when people chase each other. Dante then pulled out his Arbiter and attempted to attack Snake. Snake dodged quickly and by coincidence Desmond tripped at the same time and landed on the ground causing the Arbiter to cut off his middle finger, not even the correct assassin finger. Desmond then began screaming and Vaas pulled out his machete and began to attack Dante, but Shepard stepped in the way and Vaas slashed him instead, causing Vaas and Shepard to get into a melee fight with Vaas’s Machete and Shepard’s omni-tool. Snake then used his advantage and broke a bottle over Dante’s head knocking him out. Desmond is crying in the corner holding his finger and passes out from blood loss. Because of the volume of the whole fight, the cops were outside my home. Vaas booked it out the back door while Snake climbed through the window. The SWAT team broke in and Shepard tried consulting with them but realized his omni-tool was still out and was tazed by the cops. Desmond was rushed to the emergency room and I, got up out of my dinner chair and said to myself “This is the best night ever.”

    Then, I woke up and realized it was all a dream and I passed out drunk over my Playstation with Devil May Cry, Assassin’s Creed, Metal Gear Solid, Mass Effect 3 and Far Cry 3 all laying around me with beer bottles scattered across the floor. It was still the best night of my life.

    Fin. ~ Robert B.